He’s Just Not That Into You
*the following words are written with much love and affection. 😘
Ok, It’s pretty obvious I have borrowed this title from a book I’ve never read and a movie I haven’t seen. Ha! But the title sadly sums it up.
SO, WE LOVE BOYS.
Boys are dreamy.
Boys are cute.
Boys are fun.
Boys are nice.
But sometimes... Boys are stupid.
*And so are girls to be fair😜😜😜😜
I’ll never forget being at the near end of a relationship when I was much younger (before Pete) and I had a friend of mine reference this book and kindly tell me that if this guy was into me like he said he was ... he wouldn’t be talking to/flirting with other girls like I knew he was. The sheer realisation was hard to swallow in the moment. How could 6 words brutally strung together in that moment inflict as much pain as it did unlock so much freedom for me. The truth is - it hurt. It made me question why I wasn’t enough? Was I not pretty enough? Was I not fun enough? Was I not smart enough? It’s crazy how we can let boys determine our sense of adequacy. But those 6 words ultimately set me free from a guy who actually was the one that wasn’t good enough for me ... AND it lead me to finding THE guy who is better than I could have imagined and loves me more than I thought possible.
I’ve been thinking lately about being a WHOLE-HEARTED kinda girl. And the recipient of whole-hearted kinda lovin'.
I wanna love and be loved... FULLY.
I wanna be in the kinda relationship where the attitudes are “ALL IN”.
Who loves me as much for my flaws as he does for my perks.
Not perfect in pursuit - because we’ll always be left disappointed if we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves or others. But in a relationship that’s wholeheartedly committed to one another.
When God created us... He didn’t purpose us to be partial in our devotion to himself or others. In fact... He commands us to LOVE with ALL that is within us. He doesn’t say ... love with some of your heart ... with part of your soul ... with some of your mind ... and a bit of your strength.
He says ... “with ALL”. He’s saying... when it comes to LOVE... be ALL IN.
So why would we accept half-hearted kinda commitments from others when it’s clearly not how we were created to love or be loved. And yet as girls ... we can settle for the luke-warm kinda love we never wanted. I know what you’re thinking ... You’ve got to give relationships time and a chance to acquire that kind of love. And I “wholeheartedly” agree (see what I did there😜). So I guess I’m talking to the girls who are already in relationships where the time has progressed far enough... where you’re pass the point of courtship and yet the relationship still lacks actual commitment.
💜 Wholeheartedness doesn’t speak in “ifs” and “maybes” ... “I think so” is not the language of love.
💚 Wholeheartedness doesn’t stand back measuring you up and sizing you against others.
💜 Wholeheartedness isn’t thinking more than Twice. Three times. And if the heart is unsure ... it doesn’t STAY in that confused place for an extended period of time while you hang in there waiting and hoping.
❤️ Wholeheartedness isn’t entertaining other options.
💘 “I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.... choose”
💘 “I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.... believe”
💘 “I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.... hope”
💘”you’re the one I want”
💘”you’re the only one I want”
💘”you’re my dream girl”
So if you’re sitting there and he’s got a few cards on the table ... “Umm-ing” and “ahhhh-ing” about which card he wants to play...
Kindly excuse yourself from the table...
and say “Hey... thanks, but no thanks” !!!!
You’re an Ace!!!! You’re the ultimate trump-card. Don’t settle for being anything less... because maybe it just means that you’re simply not his. And that’s NOTHING against YOU. Hold on... let me say that again... THAT IS NOTHING AGAINST YOU!!! It just means.... the beautiful, talented, gifted and intelligent girl that YOU ARE is probably meant for someone else who’s willing to give you their whole heart. And that’s OKAY. Because a man who allows you to take up the entire capacity of his heart and attention is worth it.
In the same breath... I’m all about dating. Date away. Get to know people. If it doesn’t work out - great! But when the time has passed and you know ...
You shouldn’t have to be the girl asking or begging for his commitment.
You shouldn’t be the girl trying to work out where his head is at.
Be bold and brave.
Find a close and trustworthy girlfriend... unload a bit of emotion...
Take a deep breath...
And then get busy living your best life. As you get busy living your best life...
Soon enough ... your life will collide with someone living theirs.
Here’s to whole-heartedness.
💜💜💜💜 Laura x